Sometimes... A lot of times...

I awaken in the night thinking of my family. I always touch, Chrissy, my wife, LIGHTLY...don't awaken her purposely. I walk the halls of the home and spend time praying. I call my children my kiddos, and someone recently told me how disrespectful that it was to call them such names. Wrong.
I always stop at the door and listen to them breathe, in...out...in...out...Beautiful. I pray that the room is filled with the Holy Spirit that fills them. I can't imagine the power Who was there and is still there always when I baptized them both with God's Spirit filling their hearts. I'm just glad I got to be there, and fill in. Sorry Ms. T. I know I just finished a sentence with a preposition, please don't tell the coaches AGAIN.
I'm so blessed to have the family that I have to call mine even when some yell back at me, tell me, "no," when I meant yes, or don't agree with my thoughts. Even when my kiddos get their own ideas, they're still always in my heart, BIG. That's why I stop every night at their doors, hold on tight and pray harder than I ever understood before I knew those little toots.
They'll grab your heart more than you ever figured, huh?
I thought, I crashed motorcycles, broke bones on football fields and softball fields, lost fist fights, won more fist fights, broke more bones, lost games, blah, blah, blah, blah... But nothing hurt more than seeing my kids cry, hurt, or be sick. They're just amazing.
Someday, I hope they know that their weird Dad, who stood at their door and holding on tight praying for them know I would do anything for them, and prayed to the One who can do anything through and with them. That's my prayer.
I will say, a broken know's hurt's a bunch huh?

The days that lose you....The days you lose

There are days that seem to lose you. You can't find your keys, someone's upset with you, your truck doesn't start, you rip your pants. You know those days. They're the ones that you wish would fly by so that a new, more hopeful day would fill it's place. When you encounter those days in the midst of the maze of the 24 hour delineation period we tend not to value the experience, opportunities, lessons, or much else.
I can think of numerous nights I was awakened by a crying child while mumbling to myself that it would be another sleepless night. As my teen-aged daughter approaches the time to drive, I imagine I'll have a new kind of sleepless night ahead.
That maze of the day I wish would disappear often is the crucible in which we learn the most important lessons, even if we don't want to learn. We learn the twists and turns of life and when to turn left even if we think we're right. It is in the midst of life that we learn to live, and the lessons aren't usually easy to swallow. However, in the maze of life is the One who made us, watching us struggle and stumble, walk and run, even fall. He's right beside us throughout, never leaving us alone, but he does not share our same vantage point. He walks with us, but knows the turns in the maze. Listen.

The funny thing about those days that lose us is how we react. I find that far too often I've lost a day of learning, growing, and changing while I pout about a day that lost me. I complain that it wasn't my fault. So what? I could chalk up the mistake to ignorance. Does it matter now? I could even own up to my faults and still allow the rest of the day to slip by unnoticed while focusing on the past transgressions, what good does that do?

So, when life gets heavy and you encounter one of those days that lose you, don't lose the rest of the day. I've got a prayer that I've begun saying lately that is simple:

Lord help me to move on and beyond.


Simple I know, but for me true and heartfelt. Don't lose the days that lose you, because they're valuable and filled with the promise of new. I wish I knew now how beautiful a babies cry in the night is when I was hearing them then. I guess we live and learn in the maze that is life.