I heard from a friend, "We're our own best critic."
As I sit in the sanctuary on Sunday morning, fretting over my ability to communicate a good sermon I do several things. I pray the same prayer silently, just as a baseball player has his normal, perhaps superstitious routines that make you feel right about what you're about to do. I look at the congregation to remind myself that someone especially needs to hear the message that day. I remind myself that someone out there doesn't know how much God loves them.
Then...
I look at my son Connor. He always winks at me.
I asked him a couple of years ago why he winks at me during the church service, and with a bit of annoyance he answered,
"Dad... Everytime I ever went to bat on the baseball field I looked at you and you always winked. It means you can do it. When I struck out I looked at you and you always winked. It means it's okay." It's amazing how much I can learn from my children.
It was then that I began to see the sunrise as God's wink. God telling me that no matter how the day goes He tells me His love and grace is for me.
It's amazing to imagine, but a wink that is so easy, is so powerful. One wink from a 10 year-old boy that I happen to love can drown out all the critics, even the one in my head.
Wink.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Best Friends
I learned about friendship in many ways, and all of them were good. No, they were great.
I've had several best friends throughout my life that have shared love, laughter, tears, sorrow, and triumph with me over many years.
I hear my daughter talk about bff's and watch her text message them on her phone and her computer through facebook. It made me think about my best friends throughout my own life, what they mean to me, and why friendship is important. Maybe even more than important... Vital.
I suppose that I met my first best friends without even understanding it. My Mom and Dad loved me unconditionally first, without understanding or comprehending how much they loved and cared for me. I'm sure that in the midst of their love I didn't realize how I created smiles, tears, frustration, and pride in their heart and soul.
When I was 5 years old I met another best friend, his name was Cory. I didn't understand at the time what friendship meant, I just knew how it felt. Cory died when we were 5 years old in a car accident. It didn't make sense to me, but how would it make sense to a 5 year-old boy, but I guess I learned what it meant to have a friend and learn about loss and perhaps grief.
That same year I met another guy that is a best friend. My brother David was born that year. I used to frustrate those parents of mine by figuring out had to drag a chair to his baby bed and pull him out of it so I could spend time with him. He was born eight days before my birthday, and couldn't think of a better birthday present. Well, the swing set I got and the backyard birthday party was better at the time, but I learned it was secondary to the baby in the house and in my heart. He continues to be a brother, best friend, and a source of unconditional love and acceptance.
I met Trey in Junior High School. He became another best friend. We did all the things that teen aged boys do that parents don't need to know about, but that we still laugh about and pray that our children won't do like we did. We went through girlfriends, heart ache, High School, College, and beyond. We shared an apartment that was disgustingly marked with the sign of single young men trying to figure out who they were. We had more fun together, fought with each other, and fought those whomever messed with either of us.
On August 13th of 1993 I met a new best friend. I didn't realize it at the time, but Chrissy would be the best friend of my life, and would become my wife. I loved being with her, sharing my deepest secrets, fears, and victories. The heart doesn't explain to our minds what love is, it just fills our spirit so full that we can't imagine how we don't burst. She introduced me to two young ones named Caitlin and Connor that showed me further how your heart can stretch further than you can imagine it ever could. Chrissy recently reminded me that, "home," is wherever WE are. She is so right that being at home with the best friends in life is one of the greatest blessings ever.
Whenever I sing the hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," I'm reminded that I met a friend, better yet, a Savior in the midst of life. To realize that Jesus is a friend is an amazing, awe inspiring, humbling, knee buckling, heart filling event in life. Many of my friends don't realize that Jesus not only loves us, but He likes us as well. This friend of mine, has seen EVERYTHING I've ever done, heard EVERYTHING I've ever said, and know EVERYTHING I've ever thought. He still loves me and has never walked away from me. When I've turned my back on Him and His ways, there He was right beside me.
Lord Jesus, make me the friend to those around me, as you've been the friend to me who gave everything to make me know your love.
I've had several best friends throughout my life that have shared love, laughter, tears, sorrow, and triumph with me over many years.
I hear my daughter talk about bff's and watch her text message them on her phone and her computer through facebook. It made me think about my best friends throughout my own life, what they mean to me, and why friendship is important. Maybe even more than important... Vital.
I suppose that I met my first best friends without even understanding it. My Mom and Dad loved me unconditionally first, without understanding or comprehending how much they loved and cared for me. I'm sure that in the midst of their love I didn't realize how I created smiles, tears, frustration, and pride in their heart and soul.
When I was 5 years old I met another best friend, his name was Cory. I didn't understand at the time what friendship meant, I just knew how it felt. Cory died when we were 5 years old in a car accident. It didn't make sense to me, but how would it make sense to a 5 year-old boy, but I guess I learned what it meant to have a friend and learn about loss and perhaps grief.
That same year I met another guy that is a best friend. My brother David was born that year. I used to frustrate those parents of mine by figuring out had to drag a chair to his baby bed and pull him out of it so I could spend time with him. He was born eight days before my birthday, and couldn't think of a better birthday present. Well, the swing set I got and the backyard birthday party was better at the time, but I learned it was secondary to the baby in the house and in my heart. He continues to be a brother, best friend, and a source of unconditional love and acceptance.
I met Trey in Junior High School. He became another best friend. We did all the things that teen aged boys do that parents don't need to know about, but that we still laugh about and pray that our children won't do like we did. We went through girlfriends, heart ache, High School, College, and beyond. We shared an apartment that was disgustingly marked with the sign of single young men trying to figure out who they were. We had more fun together, fought with each other, and fought those whomever messed with either of us.
On August 13th of 1993 I met a new best friend. I didn't realize it at the time, but Chrissy would be the best friend of my life, and would become my wife. I loved being with her, sharing my deepest secrets, fears, and victories. The heart doesn't explain to our minds what love is, it just fills our spirit so full that we can't imagine how we don't burst. She introduced me to two young ones named Caitlin and Connor that showed me further how your heart can stretch further than you can imagine it ever could. Chrissy recently reminded me that, "home," is wherever WE are. She is so right that being at home with the best friends in life is one of the greatest blessings ever.
Whenever I sing the hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," I'm reminded that I met a friend, better yet, a Savior in the midst of life. To realize that Jesus is a friend is an amazing, awe inspiring, humbling, knee buckling, heart filling event in life. Many of my friends don't realize that Jesus not only loves us, but He likes us as well. This friend of mine, has seen EVERYTHING I've ever done, heard EVERYTHING I've ever said, and know EVERYTHING I've ever thought. He still loves me and has never walked away from me. When I've turned my back on Him and His ways, there He was right beside me.
Lord Jesus, make me the friend to those around me, as you've been the friend to me who gave everything to make me know your love.
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