A New Year, A Same Life

There's an imaginary line between 12/31/10 and 1/1/11.
Folks think that it's the, "Vegas," moment. What happened in 2010 happens in 2010. Try telling that to the couple having a baby in 2011. What about the one who lost his or her job in 2010. There are unresolved arguments and disputes that crossed that, "sacred," start-finish line. Memories abound, especially for those who believe that what happens in Vegas line.
What has the last year held for you, and what did you give to it? I believe that all of us have been given gifts and challenges during the last 365 days, and done great, good, and not so good things during the same period of time. How have you triumphed and fallen? Stumbled and sprinted?
Life happened during 2010, it was still happening when we woke up January 1, 2011.
After crossing that make believe border between '10 and '11, I needed to write a list to remind my selfish self of what a year brought me:

Sleeping in on the first day of 2010
coffee
breakfast
lunch
nap
dinner....
football games
baseball season
saying goodbye to an amazing congregation in Lubbock
learning to quit being arrogant all the time
seeing my Caitlin act and sing
meeting a new amazing church in Mesquite
learning not to like living in hotels
living in the home of a couple who have the gift of hospitality
discovering how good it feels to not be sick
lunches with new, old, and older friends
country music
TV
newly and formerly read good books
realizing how much I love Taco Villa and Orlandos
remembering how much I love El Fenix, Glorias, and Luby's
recalling how much running hurts when you love stupid restaurants
seeing generosity beyond belief
Dallas traffic...(wait, that's a different list for 2010, never mind.)
Dallas heat...(MAN!!! Sorry again, different list)
deodorant
finding a new dry cleaner
figuring out where to get my hair cut
Mesquite Barbecue
running more food off my widening self
a new home
a staff at church that took care of the new self appointed village idiot, namely: Rochelle, Carla, Betty, Eileen, Amy, David, and Rocky
getting past what may be the most disastrous Sunday service ever to be lead by said village idiot
counting my many friends that called to check in
my Mom and Dad who spent the last weeks with my wife and kids before they headed East
meeting my family at the Chicken Express down the road to lead them down Ranch Road when after a few months away, and our first night together and watching the kids run upstairs to their new bedrooms smiling ear to ear
Seeing Connor play football at SMU and at the American Airlines Center and watching him on the jumbotron in the stadiums
getting to be with Chrissy and her family as we said goodbye and honored my Father-In-Law Lynn at his heavenly homecoming
Not completely sawing off my leg with lawn equipment
spending Thanksgiving with the Chrissy's family, and Christmas with Chrissy's Mom and Step-Dad
Families Names like: Honey, Dad, Uncle Clint, Aunt Chrissy, Mom, Ami, Granddaddy, Grandpaw, Granny, Papaw, Aunt Melissa, Aunt Rachel, Aunt Vallie, Uncle David, Uncle Cody, Uncle Brian...
Seeing my grandmothers, Manna and Nannye
Knowing I've been loved more than I deserve, with the chance to love back just as hard.

At the end of my list I know something. You can pull out of one driveway, pull into another, and the One who was standing with my loved ones while I drove away, was waiting when I drove into the new driveway.

Then I realized, God was with me in the whole journey, as He was with you.

As always, I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but I know He holds tomorrow.

I just have to believe that God looked at me many times in the past year and thought as a friend once wrote to me in my bible:

"Hey Bonehead! Remember God loves you!"

Yes He does.

It's a new year, but the same life and no matter what tomorrow holds it's a good life. He's already there.

Postscript:
I originally posted the following words on New Years Eve, but Used Toy Store showed no post. The post showed up today. I share the first draft with you as well showing an unnatural devotion to TV, food, family, and well, food. No wonder Chrissy bought me a new suit last week.

2010 Thanks for...

Pork rinds on long road trips
pickled sausages on long road trips
long runs to run off above said crap I ate in the last year
a church I loved and will always love
a church I love and will always love
my guitar when I was alone
TV
Luby's
Taco Villa
watching Connor play football
watching Caitlin sing
not being able to completely saw off my leg with a hedge trimmer
sleep
my new friends, my old friends, and those who are so crusty they help saw off my rough edges
the books I've read this year
El Fenix
Not being arrested ever
ESPN Sports Center
Waffle House
Must again mention running so as to make sure Waffle House doesn't own me
The day my family showed up to our new home in Forney
My Truck and my dog Sammye
My cool office chair
Air conditioning!!!
Listening to my kids laugh
Thanksgiving with the the Doyle's and Moore's
Seeing my parents come to our home for Christmas evening
Seeing my brother David and his wife Melissa bring their kiddos, James and Sam to Forney to see us
My greatest blessings, my family.

Did I mention pork rinds? Oh, yeah I did.

2010

Lynn

My Father-In-Law, Lynn, was an amazing man who taught me much about faith in God. He underwent many challenges in his life, yet never questioned the love of his Savior. Many people have asked if he had been ill. He had been sick for quite some time. When my wife Chrissy was in high school in Crandall her father was in an industrial accident that left him with 3^rd degree burns over 90% of his body. He was taken to Parkland Hospital where he stayed for nearly a year. The doctors told the family that he would surely not survive such a trauma. They administered an experimental drug that helped his recovery but left him completely deaf. He developed a staph infection during this time as well that would plague him for the rest of his life. Although he was not given any chance of survival, he surprised everyone and eventually was able to live as a self sufficient man.

The first time I met Lynn I had recently begun dating his oldest daughter and I learned that I was going to have the chance to meet him. I really liked this girl and wanted to make a good impression. Chrissy had told me the story of his accident and subsequent hearing loss, so I did what any genius would do. I walked to him shook his hand and yelled, “HELLO MR. GUERNSEY, I’M CLINT STEPHENSON AND I’M DATING YOUR DAUGHTER!”

He looked at and said, “I’m deaf. I can’t hear you.” Thus beginning our relationship in which I’m sure he hoped his daughter would find someone with an ounce of brains. I'm not sure I ever fully recovered from that initial meeting

Several years ago Lynn was diagnosed with Parkinson ’s disease and with each visit we could see the effects of the disease on his body. Every January he would come and stay in our home with us for several weeks and with each visit we could see there was less and less of him. Yet he continued the practice I had seen him do each day on each visit. He would sit at our kitchen table for hours and study his bible. He never failed to attend church with us, and when he was at home although he couldn’t hear what was happening he knew that being in the company of other Christians and being in worship was vital for the believer. Someone teased me in the hallway that he was probably blessed that he never had to hear me preach.

Last year a great blessing occurred when Chrissy and two of her sisters were able to take him on a dream trip for them all to Ireland. The girls took turns pushing his wheelchair from castle to castle and site to site. Being with his daughters probably meant more to him than seeing the beautiful country. I know this will be a memory never forgotten or undervalued bythem.

Through all of his troubles I never once heard him complain.

At his funeral my daughter Caitlin sang a song, “This Is My Temporary Home.” I was about to preach the funeral message as I listened to her beautiful voice sing powerful words when I realized that this was the first time he ever got to hear his granddaughter sing. He was well. Although we’ll miss him as we said, “goodbye,” all of us knew that because of his faith in our amazing Lord, he went home, and by faith we’ll see him later. Maybe next time we meet I’ll remember not to yell.

So, thank you Lynn for allowing me to marry your daughter, my best friend. And thank you for teaching me more about faith than I’ll ever be able to teach in a lifetime.

Fear and Triumph

I learned years ago that fear can completely paralyze us. I learned it from a four foot ramp built for jumping bicycles. It seemed like it was the highest thing that you could possibly launch a two wheeled vehicle from into the great abyss of nothingness. I sat on the seat of my bike watching as my friends made jump after jump from that wooden monster feeling like I couldn't.

After being taunted by boy after boy I decided action was necessary. I aligned my flying bike in the right place, took a deep breath and started peddling toward the ramp. I still remember my heart pounding, my mind racing, my instincts taking over as I went up the ramp. Then I did the stupidest thing that you can do. I hit the brakes.

I skidded up the ramp until at the top the bike flipped off the end of that ridiculous wooden ramp and I landed on my face at the bottom. Boys can't cry in front of their friends no matter how much blood you spilled, how bad you hurt, or how embarrassed. So I went inside our home and sat on my bed leaving my bike and hurt feelings laying at the bottom of the ramp. It was that day that I learned how you stare down fear.

It was that particular event that taught me when you are afraid of something you can own it or it owns you. Those are the moments that make you or brake you. It was then I learned that when things scare you it's time to try it again, and do it better the second time. So I rode at the ramp and didn't hit the brakes, landed on the other side terrified but triumphant.

Years later I stood at the bottom of an old telephone pole on a ropes course feeling the same butterflies I felt when I was a child looking at the bike ramp. It wasn't pretty, graceful, or courageous looking as I made my ascent to the top of the pole, but the victory is in taking each step when you're scared to death. Ramps and used up old telephone poles don't get to beat us.

In life, the things that scare us deserve for us to stare them down and beat them, and when we land at the other end we're triumphant. Our Savior prayed in a garden that there was another way than the path that led him to the cross, and in the end, he owned our sin and shame on a wooden cross that could not conquer him. Thanks be to God that on the other side, because of His Son's courage, we end up triumphant.

A Simple Wink

I heard from a friend, "We're our own best critic."

As I sit in the sanctuary on Sunday morning, fretting over my ability to communicate a good sermon I do several things. I pray the same prayer silently, just as a baseball player has his normal, perhaps superstitious routines that make you feel right about what you're about to do. I look at the congregation to remind myself that someone especially needs to hear the message that day. I remind myself that someone out there doesn't know how much God loves them.

Then...

I look at my son Connor. He always winks at me.

I asked him a couple of years ago why he winks at me during the church service, and with a bit of annoyance he answered,

"Dad... Everytime I ever went to bat on the baseball field I looked at you and you always winked. It means you can do it. When I struck out I looked at you and you always winked. It means it's okay." It's amazing how much I can learn from my children.

It was then that I began to see the sunrise as God's wink. God telling me that no matter how the day goes He tells me His love and grace is for me.

It's amazing to imagine, but a wink that is so easy, is so powerful. One wink from a 10 year-old boy that I happen to love can drown out all the critics, even the one in my head.

Wink.

Best Friends

I learned about friendship in many ways, and all of them were good. No, they were great.

I've had several best friends throughout my life that have shared love, laughter, tears, sorrow, and triumph with me over many years.

I hear my daughter talk about bff's and watch her text message them on her phone and her computer through facebook. It made me think about my best friends throughout my own life, what they mean to me, and why friendship is important. Maybe even more than important... Vital.

I suppose that I met my first best friends without even understanding it. My Mom and Dad loved me unconditionally first, without understanding or comprehending how much they loved and cared for me. I'm sure that in the midst of their love I didn't realize how I created smiles, tears, frustration, and pride in their heart and soul.

When I was 5 years old I met another best friend, his name was Cory. I didn't understand at the time what friendship meant, I just knew how it felt. Cory died when we were 5 years old in a car accident. It didn't make sense to me, but how would it make sense to a 5 year-old boy, but I guess I learned what it meant to have a friend and learn about loss and perhaps grief.

That same year I met another guy that is a best friend. My brother David was born that year. I used to frustrate those parents of mine by figuring out had to drag a chair to his baby bed and pull him out of it so I could spend time with him. He was born eight days before my birthday, and couldn't think of a better birthday present. Well, the swing set I got and the backyard birthday party was better at the time, but I learned it was secondary to the baby in the house and in my heart. He continues to be a brother, best friend, and a source of unconditional love and acceptance.

I met Trey in Junior High School. He became another best friend. We did all the things that teen aged boys do that parents don't need to know about, but that we still laugh about and pray that our children won't do like we did. We went through girlfriends, heart ache, High School, College, and beyond. We shared an apartment that was disgustingly marked with the sign of single young men trying to figure out who they were. We had more fun together, fought with each other, and fought those whomever messed with either of us.

On August 13th of 1993 I met a new best friend. I didn't realize it at the time, but Chrissy would be the best friend of my life, and would become my wife. I loved being with her, sharing my deepest secrets, fears, and victories. The heart doesn't explain to our minds what love is, it just fills our spirit so full that we can't imagine how we don't burst. She introduced me to two young ones named Caitlin and Connor that showed me further how your heart can stretch further than you can imagine it ever could. Chrissy recently reminded me that, "home," is wherever WE are. She is so right that being at home with the best friends in life is one of the greatest blessings ever.

Whenever I sing the hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," I'm reminded that I met a friend, better yet, a Savior in the midst of life. To realize that Jesus is a friend is an amazing, awe inspiring, humbling, knee buckling, heart filling event in life. Many of my friends don't realize that Jesus not only loves us, but He likes us as well. This friend of mine, has seen EVERYTHING I've ever done, heard EVERYTHING I've ever said, and know EVERYTHING I've ever thought. He still loves me and has never walked away from me. When I've turned my back on Him and His ways, there He was right beside me.

Lord Jesus, make me the friend to those around me, as you've been the friend to me who gave everything to make me know your love.

A Team is a Family. A Family is a Team.

Tonight I had the best time in many moons. Sitting around tables with church members during pie and pancakes with the Pastor meetings for the last few weeks and getting to sit at the table at the Colliers home and seeing the EPCC team and family was the best. Eating great food, laughing, talking, spending time with people that I have learned to care more deeply for, while being cared about and loved by our church family reminded me of something vitally and eternally important:

Can we win the battle? The battle of spiritual slide? Can we remind many, many people that Jesus is bigger than the battles that drag us down? Can we bring in those folks who need to hear how much God loves us?

I don't think so.

I know it!

Thanks to the Colliers, Custers, and McGinniss folks for the family/team dinner!

Let's keep tearing it up so they'll know we were here.