Did you ever look at a picture that made you feel good? Photo's are good, but the best are the ones made out colors, markers, and pencils that make you remember there are artists that want to make you feel good about how good of a Daddy you could be if you try really hard.
I've been looking at crayon scratch more precious than Picasso's ridicularity lately. Everytime I see those kiddo artworks, I feel bigger than I ought to ever get to feel.
Red Double T's, stick figures, and hearts drawn with pink crayons are the best things that were ever invented. Folks thought Einstein was smart, and perhaps he was, but my kids know how to draw pure genius on copier paper.
I can picture both of them working hard on each masterpiece, tongue sticking out sideways, making a difference to a Dad who doesn't deserve such a blessing.
Caity-Bug. Rufus. How'd you learn to draw such inspiration?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A New Cel Phone is FUN!
I didn't think about it until the last few days since I hadn't changed any kind of phone numbers in over a decade. I got the introduction to phone number change 9.0 for dummies in the last few days. You never know who had your new phone number yesterday.
I have to edit so much of this, but still, it made me laugh hard enough to break another rib or seven.
I saw I had missed a call from a phone in my new area code and thought it was probably a church member or somebody who needed to speak with me. Boy, was I wrong!
"What!" Came the voice on the other end of the line. I was taught at age 1/3 years not to be such a goober!
"Hello, this is Clint, I missed a call from this number, how may I help you?"
"I'll tell you fairy, put, "Lexi," on the phone...I know where you are, and I'll come over there and you'll be sorry." said the friendly gent on the other side of the conversation.
I was confused for a few moments at this point. It was then that I realized what was happening. I inherited quite a rich and rewarding cel phone number in the 214 area code, and, "Lexi," must've been Mayor or something important in the past here.
My answer, "I think you have the wrong number. I just got this cel phone and you must be calling an old cel phone num..." I couldn't finish.
"SHUT UP! Put her on the phone now or I'll come find you and you'll be sorry!" said big man...
"What's your name?" I responded. I think it's important to know about your friends.
"Huh? Just tell her it's billy." I refuse to capitalize his name. That's not Christian of me.
I tried to tell him over and over how he called the wrong number, "billette," just wouldn't listen. That's when my childish instincts kicked in.
I pretended, and said, "Hey Lexi, it's billete...do you want to talk to him? No...Sorry billette she thinks you're rude."
He lost his mind. Laughing at him made him madder and madder until he told me how he was going to beat me up. He did ask, "Are you big?" I just said, "Bigs relative." billette said, "what's that mean?"
They make clown shoes for everyone don't they? Don't forget the big red nose or you'll look more foolish, "billette."
I gained composure and ended the call. I thought maybe I would just be able to resume my day, but the phone kept on ringing...It was the aforementioned, "billette," henceforth known as NUTCASE...I'll use the initial, "N."
Finally after 15 calls from, "N," I answered. He continued his profanity laced anger-fest. So I said, "Here's the deal... I have already called the Dallas Police Department and they know your cel number. Don't hurt anybody because they know how to find you."
"N" said, "When I find you I'll throw this phone against your head and you'll be sorry!"
Then genius happened. I responded, "That's what they said you'd say. Your phone has a GPS in it and they can find you, and if you leave it behind, you'll still have GPS residue on your hands and face...they'll find you!"
"You serious?" asked, "N"
I'm serious Clark!
I have to edit so much of this, but still, it made me laugh hard enough to break another rib or seven.
I saw I had missed a call from a phone in my new area code and thought it was probably a church member or somebody who needed to speak with me. Boy, was I wrong!
"What!" Came the voice on the other end of the line. I was taught at age 1/3 years not to be such a goober!
"Hello, this is Clint, I missed a call from this number, how may I help you?"
"I'll tell you fairy, put, "Lexi," on the phone...I know where you are, and I'll come over there and you'll be sorry." said the friendly gent on the other side of the conversation.
I was confused for a few moments at this point. It was then that I realized what was happening. I inherited quite a rich and rewarding cel phone number in the 214 area code, and, "Lexi," must've been Mayor or something important in the past here.
My answer, "I think you have the wrong number. I just got this cel phone and you must be calling an old cel phone num..." I couldn't finish.
"SHUT UP! Put her on the phone now or I'll come find you and you'll be sorry!" said big man...
"What's your name?" I responded. I think it's important to know about your friends.
"Huh? Just tell her it's billy." I refuse to capitalize his name. That's not Christian of me.
I tried to tell him over and over how he called the wrong number, "billette," just wouldn't listen. That's when my childish instincts kicked in.
I pretended, and said, "Hey Lexi, it's billete...do you want to talk to him? No...Sorry billette she thinks you're rude."
He lost his mind. Laughing at him made him madder and madder until he told me how he was going to beat me up. He did ask, "Are you big?" I just said, "Bigs relative." billette said, "what's that mean?"
They make clown shoes for everyone don't they? Don't forget the big red nose or you'll look more foolish, "billette."
I gained composure and ended the call. I thought maybe I would just be able to resume my day, but the phone kept on ringing...It was the aforementioned, "billette," henceforth known as NUTCASE...I'll use the initial, "N."
Finally after 15 calls from, "N," I answered. He continued his profanity laced anger-fest. So I said, "Here's the deal... I have already called the Dallas Police Department and they know your cel number. Don't hurt anybody because they know how to find you."
"N" said, "When I find you I'll throw this phone against your head and you'll be sorry!"
Then genius happened. I responded, "That's what they said you'd say. Your phone has a GPS in it and they can find you, and if you leave it behind, you'll still have GPS residue on your hands and face...they'll find you!"
"You serious?" asked, "N"
I'm serious Clark!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Greatness
I met with a group of old friends recently for lunch. When the chatter died down, plates pushed away, a question was asked that created a silence at the table that was deafening.
"What's the greatest thing you've ever done?"
There's nothing like asking a bunch of middle-aged men such a question. For some, memories of high school championships and college conquests come to mind. Others were thrown again to the demons of despair at the thought they've never accomplished anything great. Then there was, "Bruce." He didn't stop eating long enough to be able to hear any questions, or utter anything that a human could discern as language. Sometimes I wish I could be a, "Bruce," focused completely on chicken-fried steak until the plate is clean, then on to the next task with no hint of reflection. However, it's not in the cards for me.
I started to think about things in the rear-view mirror. I could take the fun route and talk about the wild times in college... No, I don't think ANY of those times were great in hindsight. I listened to the others and heard my name mentioned a few times in those old stories and cringed and laughed a few times.
I could talk about education or work experience. Neither seemed the way to go for my time at the round table, (it was actually rectangular, but we knights fancy ourselves sitting around ROUND tables).
What I didn't want to mention was my stellar stats for coaching youth football, or getting tossed from my son's baseball game while I coached him. Lord help me, never mention how great a soccer coach I was years ago. Four year old girls can be mean!
It was while I was listening to the others tell their tales I thought, "I don't know the greatest thing I've ever done...I'm not finished yet." Some tend to look backward more than forward. I don't know yet what God will do with, for, and through me. Sometimes, "great," can't be measured either. I look at life as a great internship, ending in a graduation to our new home created for us by the One who loves us most. As scripture tells us sometimes we fly, sometimes we run, and at times it's alright to walk, but all of those descriptions imply forward movement.
So I'll just keep going, hoping that I won't spend time figuring out how great life has already been. That question has an element of, "quitterism," in it. See there, I just made up a new word. I wonder what else I'll do today.
"What's the greatest thing you've ever done?"
There's nothing like asking a bunch of middle-aged men such a question. For some, memories of high school championships and college conquests come to mind. Others were thrown again to the demons of despair at the thought they've never accomplished anything great. Then there was, "Bruce." He didn't stop eating long enough to be able to hear any questions, or utter anything that a human could discern as language. Sometimes I wish I could be a, "Bruce," focused completely on chicken-fried steak until the plate is clean, then on to the next task with no hint of reflection. However, it's not in the cards for me.
I started to think about things in the rear-view mirror. I could take the fun route and talk about the wild times in college... No, I don't think ANY of those times were great in hindsight. I listened to the others and heard my name mentioned a few times in those old stories and cringed and laughed a few times.
I could talk about education or work experience. Neither seemed the way to go for my time at the round table, (it was actually rectangular, but we knights fancy ourselves sitting around ROUND tables).
What I didn't want to mention was my stellar stats for coaching youth football, or getting tossed from my son's baseball game while I coached him. Lord help me, never mention how great a soccer coach I was years ago. Four year old girls can be mean!
It was while I was listening to the others tell their tales I thought, "I don't know the greatest thing I've ever done...I'm not finished yet." Some tend to look backward more than forward. I don't know yet what God will do with, for, and through me. Sometimes, "great," can't be measured either. I look at life as a great internship, ending in a graduation to our new home created for us by the One who loves us most. As scripture tells us sometimes we fly, sometimes we run, and at times it's alright to walk, but all of those descriptions imply forward movement.
So I'll just keep going, hoping that I won't spend time figuring out how great life has already been. That question has an element of, "quitterism," in it. See there, I just made up a new word. I wonder what else I'll do today.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
New
Now that I find myself in a new city I have to find out the important things. Where do I get a haircut? Is there a dry-cleaner close to the church to clean my clothes? Who will change the oil in my truck if there's no Bolton's Oil Change? Where do I get a good greasy cheap cheeseburger in paradise? I keep changing the channel on my television and I can't find Karen and Abner at 10 o'clock on any channel! (Only the folks from the sacred land that is Lubbock will understand that remark)
The question is simply, "Where am I?" It's a frightening experience to wonder where you are. Feeling lost is not pleasant. I have asked myself that question many times in the last month. Where am I? I think we all ask that question at one time or another. Possibly some ask that question on many occasions.
Last night I turned the AC in the hotel room down to a balmy 50 degrees and jumped in bed. When I woke the clock said, 3:01...I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I tossed, turned, turned on the TV, turned off the TV. Did you realize they sell food dehydration machines at 4 AM? Looked out the window, it was dark.
Finally I knelt beside my bed and prayed.
"Lord, I know you're awake. I don't want to sleep in this room again without my family. I'm afraid of the task ahead of me. I don't feel like I can do what I think I'm called to do. I don't know how to lead this new flock. Did I mention I miss Chrissy and the kids? I just need your help. Please."
As I opened my bible the next morning I read the words from Genesis 12, "And go to the land I will show you." I had preached on that passage a few weeks ago, and it still ticks me off.
God is good. He makes the way.
The question is simply, "Where am I?" It's a frightening experience to wonder where you are. Feeling lost is not pleasant. I have asked myself that question many times in the last month. Where am I? I think we all ask that question at one time or another. Possibly some ask that question on many occasions.
Last night I turned the AC in the hotel room down to a balmy 50 degrees and jumped in bed. When I woke the clock said, 3:01...I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I tossed, turned, turned on the TV, turned off the TV. Did you realize they sell food dehydration machines at 4 AM? Looked out the window, it was dark.
Finally I knelt beside my bed and prayed.
"Lord, I know you're awake. I don't want to sleep in this room again without my family. I'm afraid of the task ahead of me. I don't feel like I can do what I think I'm called to do. I don't know how to lead this new flock. Did I mention I miss Chrissy and the kids? I just need your help. Please."
As I opened my bible the next morning I read the words from Genesis 12, "And go to the land I will show you." I had preached on that passage a few weeks ago, and it still ticks me off.
God is good. He makes the way.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Homeless Batman
My son Connor dressed as Batman for Halloween when he was three years old. Then he dressed in the same Batman suit for the next two years. EVERY DAY! He wore his cowboy boots, bat man suit, and drove his battery operated Harley up and down the street.
When I couldn't find him once, I was asked by a neighborhood kid, "Hey, you batman's dad?"
"Yes, where IS batman?"
He was at the park...which when you're 4 it's completely acceptable to drive a mini-battery powered Harley across three intersections to get to the park so you can play on monkey bars and swing. Why? Because you're wearing a worn out supersuit! Looking like the homeless version of a super hero. The shield of invincibility.
You and I all wear worn-out supersuits with shields of invincibility. Unlike my son, who wore his with pride, we hide behind them. We teach our kids to color inside the lines, then they grow up. They put away those real life super suits, and pick up baggage.
I say it's time to whistle the, "Andy Griffith Show," theme song, put on our grown-up super suit, color outside of the lines, and put down the bags. Just a thought.
When I couldn't find him once, I was asked by a neighborhood kid, "Hey, you batman's dad?"
"Yes, where IS batman?"
He was at the park...which when you're 4 it's completely acceptable to drive a mini-battery powered Harley across three intersections to get to the park so you can play on monkey bars and swing. Why? Because you're wearing a worn out supersuit! Looking like the homeless version of a super hero. The shield of invincibility.
You and I all wear worn-out supersuits with shields of invincibility. Unlike my son, who wore his with pride, we hide behind them. We teach our kids to color inside the lines, then they grow up. They put away those real life super suits, and pick up baggage.
I say it's time to whistle the, "Andy Griffith Show," theme song, put on our grown-up super suit, color outside of the lines, and put down the bags. Just a thought.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
What I Love!
Barbecue
French fries and mustard
NASCAR
College football
My best friends
Mint chocolate chip ice cream
Peeps
The shotgun from my Dad
Baseball
Seeing people fall if they don't get hurt
Greeting cards
Playing catch
Dogs
Whipping the day and feeling good I did
Restrooms
Flight Attendants that bring another Diet Coke
Irons and starch
Creased Wranglers or slacks...the way they should be worn
The smell of clean
A Greasy burger with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions.....
Heinz 57
Shiner Bock, and it's lesser cousins
Soap and the shower I have
Men who take off their hats and caps inside of the building/house
Those who pull their pants up and wear them appropriately...Don't care what your undies look like outside your pants
Cottage cheese
Steak
Spaghetti
My honorary jerseys
The chances I've been blessed with
Pineapples
Pencils and paper
Telephones with a cord attached
Ernest Hemingway
People who shut up on a flight
Boiled shrimp, crawfish, and friends
Whipped Cream
Standing up and making the loser sit down
Towels
Toilet paper
Coca-Cola
Movies that make me think and laugh...or just laugh or think.
ESPN
Smokey and the Bandit
Working
DVD's
My mountain bike
Catcher in the Rye
My Motorcycle
Coaching kids that I lead and learn to love
Preaching to kids I lead and learn to love
My In-Laws...what in the world?
My Mom and Dad
Caitlin
Connor
Chrissy
Those are a few...just thought I'd share.
French fries and mustard
NASCAR
College football
My best friends
Mint chocolate chip ice cream
Peeps
The shotgun from my Dad
Baseball
Seeing people fall if they don't get hurt
Greeting cards
Playing catch
Dogs
Whipping the day and feeling good I did
Restrooms
Flight Attendants that bring another Diet Coke
Irons and starch
Creased Wranglers or slacks...the way they should be worn
The smell of clean
A Greasy burger with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions.....
Heinz 57
Shiner Bock, and it's lesser cousins
Soap and the shower I have
Men who take off their hats and caps inside of the building/house
Those who pull their pants up and wear them appropriately...Don't care what your undies look like outside your pants
Cottage cheese
Steak
Spaghetti
My honorary jerseys
The chances I've been blessed with
Pineapples
Pencils and paper
Telephones with a cord attached
Ernest Hemingway
People who shut up on a flight
Boiled shrimp, crawfish, and friends
Whipped Cream
Standing up and making the loser sit down
Towels
Toilet paper
Coca-Cola
Movies that make me think and laugh...or just laugh or think.
ESPN
Smokey and the Bandit
Working
DVD's
My mountain bike
Catcher in the Rye
My Motorcycle
Coaching kids that I lead and learn to love
Preaching to kids I lead and learn to love
My In-Laws...what in the world?
My Mom and Dad
Caitlin
Connor
Chrissy
Those are a few...just thought I'd share.
Monday, April 12, 2010
If I was able.
I would make a new world and fix it, except I can't even fix a sink or a car.
I would want too many people to get along, share popcorn, and smile at each other.
I would try to make a movie that would make us all laugh out loud... All of us, not just the men.
I would make sure babies didn't get sick. I wouldn't bury another child, regardless of the age while looking at the swollen eyes of a mother or father.
I would find the ones who like to hurt other people with words, actions, or bullets and kill 'em. Wait a minute...that doesn't work.
I would decree exercise a sin, and me being fattish a non-truth.
I would make breakfast a daily omelette filled with bacon, lunch out of chocolate, and supper filled with steak, thus violating the previous statement.
I would ensure no one ever was thirsty, nor hungry.
I would make a machine that let us go back and love those with a love we needed to speak and show. Ask forgiveness. And fix what needed fixing.
I'm not God. He is. Always has always been. He loves us, forgives us, fixes our needs. I have to quit wishing I could be Him. I would have the earth spinning backward.
Wait...would that be cool? NO! We'd all get sick.
I would want too many people to get along, share popcorn, and smile at each other.
I would try to make a movie that would make us all laugh out loud... All of us, not just the men.
I would make sure babies didn't get sick. I wouldn't bury another child, regardless of the age while looking at the swollen eyes of a mother or father.
I would find the ones who like to hurt other people with words, actions, or bullets and kill 'em. Wait a minute...that doesn't work.
I would decree exercise a sin, and me being fattish a non-truth.
I would make breakfast a daily omelette filled with bacon, lunch out of chocolate, and supper filled with steak, thus violating the previous statement.
I would ensure no one ever was thirsty, nor hungry.
I would make a machine that let us go back and love those with a love we needed to speak and show. Ask forgiveness. And fix what needed fixing.
I'm not God. He is. Always has always been. He loves us, forgives us, fixes our needs. I have to quit wishing I could be Him. I would have the earth spinning backward.
Wait...would that be cool? NO! We'd all get sick.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
A Day to Remember
Days of remembrance can be filled with terror, anxiety, happiness, sadness, joy, or even brokenness. Today was such a day. I think perhaps I may have owned all of those sentiments. I stood in a new pulpit, as a new pastor for the first time in over ten years. I haven't sweat that much since my last workout, in full football pads! I was surprised, even humbled, but filled with a desire to take care of business in a way to honor God and His Church.
I stood in a pulpit graced for over three decades by a great man, Dan Carroll, who was, is, and always will be truly loved and respected. Brother Dan as his congregation called him is obviously a man filled with love for his fellow man as well as his flock. To spend over 30 years loyally serving a congregation, burying loved ones, marrying friends, baptizing, counseling, studying, sharing, and caring is a massive task.
I know what it feels like to love a group of amazing people, making up God's church for only a third of that time, and my heart is filled with aching and loss. I love the congregation to whom I said goodbye, and those who know me, know that love is not a word that I use without meaning. Moving on to a new land, a new people, and a new adventure was a frightening prospect, But I walk with God, His rod and His staff comforting me.
I thought that the Easter celebration began with a task soaked with terror, anxiety, happiness, sadness, joy, brokenness, and blood. The empty tomb began with a whip, a crown of thorns, a cross, thieves, screaming, taunting, hate, violence, and the love of a servant Savior. The end result was the glory of God!
I pray that in the years to come, knowing that I now have four congregations that I call family, I will take a strong hold of the realm of emotion for the glory of God, to honor my servant Savior and Lord. Christ is risen, He is risen indeed!
He'll be risen tomorrow as well. He was, He is, He is to come!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Jesus Wept...
Easiest scripture to quote ever! Used it.
Most amazing scripture to ponder. God weeps with us in our shortfalls, hurts, and lifeness. A made up word I know. It's okay.
We live in a broken world. Sin and horrible stuff happens every morning, afternoon, and, evening. I watch too much TV, listen to more sports radio than I should. It helps and hurts. It reminds me who we are and we can be.
Tomorrow, when you get up, are you going to kick tail or not?
I'm going to try my best. I'll try to make Father, my Dad, my mentors, and others proud. I bet I will.
Jesus is willing to cry with us, but, He'd rather laugh with us a lot!
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