A New Cel Phone is FUN!

I didn't think about it until the last few days since I hadn't changed any kind of phone numbers in over a decade. I got the introduction to phone number change 9.0 for dummies in the last few days. You never know who had your new phone number yesterday.

I have to edit so much of this, but still, it made me laugh hard enough to break another rib or seven.

I saw I had missed a call from a phone in my new area code and thought it was probably a church member or somebody who needed to speak with me. Boy, was I wrong!

"What!" Came the voice on the other end of the line. I was taught at age 1/3 years not to be such a goober!

"Hello, this is Clint, I missed a call from this number, how may I help you?"

"I'll tell you fairy, put, "Lexi," on the phone...I know where you are, and I'll come over there and you'll be sorry." said the friendly gent on the other side of the conversation.

I was confused for a few moments at this point. It was then that I realized what was happening. I inherited quite a rich and rewarding cel phone number in the 214 area code, and, "Lexi," must've been Mayor or something important in the past here.

My answer, "I think you have the wrong number. I just got this cel phone and you must be calling an old cel phone num..." I couldn't finish.

"SHUT UP! Put her on the phone now or I'll come find you and you'll be sorry!" said big man...

"What's your name?" I responded. I think it's important to know about your friends.

"Huh? Just tell her it's billy." I refuse to capitalize his name. That's not Christian of me.

I tried to tell him over and over how he called the wrong number, "billette," just wouldn't listen. That's when my childish instincts kicked in.

I pretended, and said, "Hey Lexi, it's billete...do you want to talk to him? No...Sorry billette she thinks you're rude."

He lost his mind. Laughing at him made him madder and madder until he told me how he was going to beat me up. He did ask, "Are you big?" I just said, "Bigs relative." billette said, "what's that mean?"

They make clown shoes for everyone don't they? Don't forget the big red nose or you'll look more foolish, "billette."

I gained composure and ended the call. I thought maybe I would just be able to resume my day, but the phone kept on ringing...It was the aforementioned, "billette," henceforth known as NUTCASE...I'll use the initial, "N."

Finally after 15 calls from, "N," I answered. He continued his profanity laced anger-fest. So I said, "Here's the deal... I have already called the Dallas Police Department and they know your cel number. Don't hurt anybody because they know how to find you."

"N" said, "When I find you I'll throw this phone against your head and you'll be sorry!"

Then genius happened. I responded, "That's what they said you'd say. Your phone has a GPS in it and they can find you, and if you leave it behind, you'll still have GPS residue on your hands and face...they'll find you!"

"You serious?" asked, "N"

I'm serious Clark!